I’m 22 and after my son was born my sex drive went away and I’m in need of help for me and my husband. He loves sex and can have it all day and I’m like ok, whatever. I don’t feel like having sex. Please help.
You`re not alone in feeling low sexual desire after giving birth, many women experience a decrease in libido after pregnancy. One study showed that three months after childbirth 20% of the women participants still had little desire for sex and a further 21% had a complete loss of desire for or aversion to sexual activity. There are a number of factors involved:
- Hormonal Changes: During pregnancy, and for a while after (up to a year), your body produces different hormones and in different ratios than when you are in your regular menstrual cycle. These include increased prolactin, oxytocin and estrogen and decreased testosterone. Testosterone is a major driver for interest in sex. Prolactin and oxytocin make you want to cuddle but aren`t very sexual.
- Other body changes: Your body needs time to heal from the birth process. Your vagina can be drier, your muscles looser, and so on. It`s a good idea to do Kegel exercises (squeezing your vaginal muscles) every day to promote muscle tone and increased sensation.
- Being Tired: New moms dont often get enough sleep. When youre tired out you`re not likely to feel very sexy.
- Change in Body Image: Sometimes women dont feel good about how their bodies look after pregnancy. If you arent happy with your body, you`re less likely to feel sexy.
- Shift in Attention: Now you have two people who need and want your loving attention – your man and your baby. And, your baby is absolutely dependent on you, so it is quite natural that a lot of your focus is on baby.
- Supplements: make sure you are taking supplements of Vitamin B, C, D and E. These help your body function better (particularly adrenal and thyroid glands) and also help with maintaining mental and emotional balance.
- Take time for you: While it is hard to get alone time, you need it and you are worth it. You need time to recharge, whether it is having a soaky bath, going to an exercise class, or having a night out with the girls.
- Be playful and flirty with your man and focus on quality of sex, not quantity: Hug, cuddle, kiss whenever you can. Schedule a date night – get someone to babysit if you can, so that you have a once a week night for just the two of you. One evening of romance and loving sex will go a long way towards creating a happy relationship.
- Make sure you talk about what is happening, for both of you. Let your man know that you care about him, that you want a wonderful sexual relationship. Give him some ideas about how he can stir up your desire and ask him what he wants and how he feels too.
Remember, this situation you are in wont last forever.
Don’t give up. Before you know it you will be feeling as sexy as ever.